This truly is the way things needed to happen. As I was doing something new, I needed those little wins to boost my self esteem and propel me forward. Even though I'd made it pretty far in my short-live ad agency career, and had some pretty good successes with the clothing line, both ultimately ended. Which at the time I saw as BIG FAILS.
My professional self-worth (which of course blended into my overall self worth) was not great. All of the assholes I'd encountered in the past professionally, all of the rejections I'd experienced and all of my tries and failures managed to creep into my psyche on many a day. And, of course, those insecurities can begin popping up everywhere. Especially when you're trying to do something new.
But this time around I just kept my head down without distraction working, learning and growing. Of course I had to address my insecurity issues when they crept up. Still do. But eventually, you just get so frustrated with yourself (and others) that you realize how much not dealing with your shit can affect your money. And then you get strong.
So...that is how I got started in web consulting.
More work came in, bigger projects and more stuff for me to figure out! And I loved it! Now I help my clients with their eCommerce sites, membership and eCourse sites, email marketing and pretty much all the things they need to be operational in their businesses on the web. I've always had love for small business. One of the reasons why I'm on my second one. I have a small team that works beside me to create and develop these not so out-of-the-box solutions for my clients. Many things which have never been done until my team and I did them! And I'm actively working on a way to help small business owners help themselves online, even if they can't afford to have me do it for them. Which feels amazing.
And most importantly, I'm finally doing what I really enjoy. I somehow ended up having the internet business I always wanted. And strangely, or not, I can now connect the dots. From try to failure, to another try to another failure, to a success...and so it goes. And it's a beautiful feeling. I love the story that's still being written.
No doubt shit was totally hard. But I'm so happy everything that happened, happened. It just made me better. It grew me professionally, personally and spiritually. And I've got so much more growing to do.
In December 2020, I bought a house and in March 2021, I moved back to St. Louis to be closer to my dad. Another beautiful thing. Not only for the obvious reasons, but also because the life I've designed for myself allows me to basically be anywhere and do what I love to do. And St. Louis is the perfect spot for me right now.